What if I Let God Down?

Thought of the Day: I wept as I realized this would be one of the most significant spiritual journeys of my life. A spiritual journey that would yield great physical benefits.

With any battle we face the fear of failure. But what is worse, is when others are counting on you. Failure doubled with Guilt! Your family and friends know the struggle you are facing, see you fight it everyday. But what about God? I am making this statement very public myself. I am posting this trial on the Internet with hopes that it will hold me accountable.  I am coping this from the book "And why in heavens would I want to add spiritual guilt on top of my physical guilt? Why would I risk the shame of making God look bad too?"

Guilt always comes when I make poor choices and I could see the results of those choices on the scale. I have to be honest with this. When I am not at peace physically, I am not at peace spiritually. How can we think that one aspect of life doesn't affect another part of our life?

To the thought of letting God down. How can we let HIM down when we weren't ever holding HIM up? This shouldn't even be a thought in our heads. Isaiah 41:10 Says Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.

Unsettled

I received my Made to Crave (by Lysa TerKeurst) book from Amazon.com. It's a 60 day devotional and I would like to share my thoughts and feelings while reading these short passages.

Thought for the Day: Unsettle me in the best kind of way. For when I allow your touch to reach the deepest parts of me - dark and dingy and hidden away too long - suddenly, a fresh wind of life twists and twirls and dances through my soul.

After reading today's devotional I found myself thinking of the game Jenga.  I compare it to my life. If you have ever played this game you know how towards the end, the tower gets in quite a precarious situation. The bottom has lots of spaces in it and with the slightest touch it will fall over.

I feel it's like my life because I know I have spread myself too thin and there are lots of open spaces in my foundation.  I have all these horrible habits in life; eating, discipline, self-control (which I am now seeing mirrored in my daughter). I know that continuing through this devotional I will find a way to fill in those empty spaces with Godly "blocks".

Well here is to reinventing my self!

Last Chance Workout & 3 day diet

I decided to up my game this week and switch to a Jillian Michael's workout. No more easy Weight Watchers 20 min (warm-up) workout.  I about nearly died! I have always said that no one can work me out like Jillian. Boy am I out of shape! Well, that will be true NO LONGER!

She has the plan set up for 6 wks. The workouts are broken down as the following;

• Warm-up (5 mins)
• Last Chance Workout (25 mins) - Blast fat and beat the scale with Jillian's signature circuits that alternate short burst of cardio with strength intervals.
• Upper Body Sculpt (10 mins) - Super-sculpt your arms, shoulders, chest, and core with Jillian's favorite moves that slash mega-calories and carve lean muscle.
• Lower Body Tone (10 mins) - Jillian revs up the fat burn with dynamic Last Chance lower body combination that blasts the legs, glutes, hips, and waistline.
• Cool Down (5 mins)

The 1-2 weeks you alternate between the Last Chance work out and the Upper & Lower body workouts.  Obvious Warm-up and Cool Down included.  Monday-Saturday

Weeks 3-4 will have Last Chance workout everyday with an additional Sculpt or Tone alternating.  Again Monday-Saturday

And the final 5-6 weeks has them all! I foresee getting up very early these weeks. Monday-Saturday.  

I am in the middle of at 3 day diet. I never thought I would see myself trying something like this but I am glad I have.  Its not a starvation diet because you are eating 3 meals everyday. Breakfast and Lunch are pretty small meals but I have all I can do to eat everything for Supper. But no problem with the 1/2 cup of Vanilla Ice Cream!! Check it out for yourself. The following is the link to the web page.

http://3daydiets.net/

~JL

Not missing anymore

(I started this post on Friday, January 27th. Than got very busy and didn't have time to finish it)


Last week ended with a 2lb gain. I was disappointed but I didn't let it get me down. I climbed back on the wagon this week and hit it hard! I am proud to say that the 2lbs I gained last week are gone.

I spent alot of time thinking about my upbringing and how I viewed myself. I can clearly remember that by the age of 12 I was already obessed with my image. I had this little belly bump below my belly button and I remember thinking about cutting it off! WHOA!! I know it shocks me too. I thought the whole procedure through. How I could cut it off and stitch it back up.


I want to live a healthy life and be active not only for myself but for my beautiful daughters. I don't want them to go through what I went through.  I know if I live it before them they will develop healthy habits and my struggles won't be theirs.


I have always been conscience of what they eat. For snacks they get healthy choices (apples, Cheerios, bananas, hard boiled eggs, WATER...).  I try to stay away from those sugary snacks like fruit snacks, sweet cereal, cookies. Yes they get sweet snacks every now and than, but its usually not something we have in our house.


My oldest daughter made me a very proud Momma when at a wedding they were offering snacks. Cookies, chips, apples, and bananas. My little gir,l when offered a cookie, said she wanted a "nana".  Our house keeps a healthy supply of fruit because of this occasion.  You can't have enough healthy choices when we are bombarded with unhealthy ones at EVERY checkout line! Yes, I am a victim of last minute snack purchases at Wal-Mart


Here's to not missing it this week!
~JL

Monthly Monster

So, I must honestly confess this week is not gonna be a good one.  I can say that before I had kids my monthly was very mild.  You can ask most of my friends, I never liked chocolate. Weird, I know! But during my 2nd pregnancy I craved Chocolate cake the whole time.  Now I am curled up on the couch, sipping on some ice water and dreaming about pulling a Bruce Bogtrotter (Matilda).

This monster messes with my attitude, makes me tired, and throws curve-ball cravings.  I fear that this is going to be a constant battle. I am going to focus on "beating" down these cravings with looking at the reason why I want it.  It's mostly because I feel so awful and the trained thought that sugar, chocolate or candy makes everything better.  

Day to day I struggle with my food choices but this week is always the hardest. The idea of texting my husband to bring home some ice cream has crossed my mind multiple times. I made some healthy and some bad choices but I made up for it by staying active and moderating what I did eat.  While I let my daughter have a cookie, I did eat one...or three myself. Tonight's meal plan for this mommy is salad with a hard boiled egg.  

My goal this week is to maintain.  I am still working out every day and even added in a dance session with my girls today.  It always helps to have fun while you stay healthy.  I will do my best to beat up my Monthly Monster.

On Friday we'll see if I was successful!
~JL

Weight Loss

Well it's the big day. And I am glad to report I have lost 2lbs! Only 1lb away from the wt I was last year when I found out I was pregnant with Elise. And it's also the wt I was at when I ran in a 4mile race.

After being very happy about that, I think I over ate tonight and now I feel terrible. I think I need to do a work out tomorrow to make up for it.

I stayed very consistent and worked out mon-fri this week. Which is very huge for me since I am waking up early to do so. But the work has paid off.

I know you might say 2lbs, big whoop but I usually fluctuate from 160-162. Never have I gotten to 158. So this is a step forward on my decision to be healthier this year

Can't wait for the cold and snow to go away. I am itching to go running again. I also am hoping to get in a 5k or two this year.

Time to put the girls to bed.
Good night world!
~JL

Muddy Monday

Had a great day today. Did my workout in the morning and felt great about the discipline it took to get up early and start my day right. On a Monday no less. I ate a light yogurt than later had a banana. I stayed on my feet doing laundry and dishes and other house hold cleaning duties. By 11 am I was famished. I decided to have a Special K bar which helped me get thru until lunch.


I kept trucking on with cleaning my house. I used a Bible app on my phone to listen to several chapters today. It was Genesis 1-3 and Romans 1. I found my day went better after having God's Word read to me.


Lunch consisted of leftovers my Hubby and I got yesterday. A bucket of ribs! Such an unhealthy choice and not diet conducive. After I had 2 ribs I felt satisfied but not full. Along with the ribs we got 2lbs of French Fries.


Since I have 2 beautiful girls that think they are the next best thing, I heated some up for them. Admittedly I took 8 of them but I still enjoyed them. The thing is I can't eliminate all foods. With a family I need to moderate what I enjoy. So I had some but not near as many I would have liked to.


We are loving our current "Winter" weather here in Wisconsin. We enjoyed ourselves today. Selah harassed the chickens. Elise and I strolled around the yard. And than we went for a walk around our 8 acre farm. Selah seemed to be drawn to the mud and water holes. I kept having to shepherd her away from them after she nearly slipped in one.

She loves to touch their tale feathers, along with bopping them on the back!!

After Selah saw Elise in her Moby she went inside and had to bring Malinda along for our walk. 

When my husband came home we enjoyed steaks and salad. I spent the rest of the night using a Rembrandt teeth whitening kit. We picked them up from Walgreens on Sunday. With coupons, I bought 2 kits for $17.00.


I have decided to claim Fridays as my weigh-in days. I have also picked up some reward M&M's for when I lose my first 5lbs.


Goodnight world
~JL